Beers and Spray Tans
‘Wow, I look pretty good for 37!’
I’m going to tell you something I swore I wouldn’t tell anyone, ever. And to be honest, I’m a little nervous about it. However I feel this is a safe place. A place of non-judgment. Somewhere we can let it all dangle in the breeze and save our sniggering for later when we aren’t around each other. Not that I do that of course.
Turning Into a Caveman
Are you scared yet? You should be.
I get a varied response when I tell people I go to Caveman Training. The first is usually one of confusion, understandably, and then it’s often a jump to believing I attend some kind of new-age, men’s group where we dress in nothing but a piece of bark over our junk and try to reclaim our lost masculinity. And while dressing like that does sound kind of fun, although a little drafty now that winter is drawing close, Caveman Training isn’t a new-age men’s group, it’s a place where I go for motivation, inspiration, hardship, pain, euphoria, tears, sweat, satisfaction, mateship and maybe a little bit of vomit. And the reason I’m telling you about this is because it’s changed my life. Read the rest of this entry »
Man. You’re A Real Mate
The other day I witnessed one of the most masculine displays of emotional outpouring I’ve ever seen. That’s right, masculine and emotional. Some say those two words don’t mix, like mixed-netball and enjoyment, but after what I saw I can guarantee you they do.
To be fair to my argument the man getting all emotional was Hugh Jackman. That guy could be getting a man-Brazilian and make it look blokey – except when he dances. Stop the dancing Hugh. Stop that right now. It was during a 60 minutes interview and after being asked a few questions about his father he began to tear up. Rather than stopping or trying to hide the tears, he wiped them away and said “Sorry mate,” to the interviewer and continued on. Read the rest of this entry »
Stop the Black Dog
Today it’s been exactly seven years since an ex-girlfriend of mine committed suicide.
I’m not telling you this so you’ll feel sorry for me, or I’m trying to ruin your day by dragging you along to feel shit with me. It’s more I feel the need to try and explain why after seven years it’s still present in my mind, especially today, as I’m sure it is for everyone who was involved within our lives back then.
Suicide doesn’t simply go away when someone dies, as I’m sure you already know. I can wholeheartedly vouch for that, and I’m sure the parents of my ex-girlfriend can vouch for that too. Read the rest of this entry »
There can be no self doubt.
Is self doubt making you rethink your path? Shut up and watch this.
Freebies? Are You Kidding?
Honey? Should my new toothbrush make my teeth smoke?
Remember freebies? I’ll bet you do. They were great, weren’t they? They created loyalty, excitement, and just a little bit of alcoholism.
Not anymore though. Getting a freebie from a business these days is like trying to catch a fart in a strainer – it’s just not gonna happen.
Back in the good old days, like, 2002, I could walk into every second bar and be greeted by a smiling, beady eyed manager who would ply me full of free booze. Read the rest of this entry »
Say Goodbye to the Nightly Guilt Train
"You're a shit person. A shit shit shitty shit shitty shit person!"
So, my T.V. broke a few weeks back. I know, right?! But please, calm down. No seriously, you can calm down. Stop running around your living room – or toilet or wherever, how do I know where you read stuff on your computer?! – with your arms up in the air and screaming at the absolute horror. Wow. Ok. You really are upset. Jesus Christ, CALM DOWN! It’s gonna be alright.
At the time of it actually breaking I simply stayed sitting on the couch and looked at my own reflection in the black screen for a while, hoping the team from NCIS would suddenly just reappear. They didn’t. I tried turning it off, then on, then on and off at the wall, then shook the remote and tried it all again. And that’s it. That’s all I had. I’m the first to admit the technology in my house may as well be run by magic, or tiny sexy fairies, because other than pushing a button to make it go I have absolutely no concept of how something like a television works. In the end I had to face the fact that it was indeed broken, and also that I’d never get to see who killed the latest unlucky Marine.
The thing is, the next day I didn’t race out and buy the first moving screen thingy I could find, and I still haven’t. Now three weeks on I’m starting to notice a few changes in my life. Big changes. Emotional changes. Read the rest of this entry »
